Where do I start with this one? This post will be directly linked/related to future posts. Using a title modifier of part one would be too definitive, because it is ever evolving. I’ll arrive to a decision by the end, I suppose. Let me take a sip of my Earl Grey and begin.
As I may have mentioned, last week, my older half-brother and I went up to Paradise, CA, my old stomping grounds, and where our relatives on our grandfather’s side resides. We did not have the time to visit everyone, but we did visit and hang out with our cousins and their family.
On the way up, my brother had talked of starting up a trade in his hobby/lifestyle of amateur biking and triathlon racing. Having already invested in equipment, I see that he is very serious about it, and he invited me to learn an aspect of this business, particularly the repair and maintenance of these modern high-end bicycles. I’ll be honest, I would be willing to help, and try it, but I feel it is not my interest or calling.
Not long after we arrived at our cousins home in Magalia (up the hill from Paradise), Melanie (who also has a blog here on wordpress) had performed for my brother and I, some sort of tarot card reading based on Native American animal mysticism-I am unclear what the name is. In any case, it involves a deck of cards with animals (shuffled by the person in question), and each animal has some type of story and explanation which relates to other animals, and of course these findings (based on what was drawn) are interpreted to the person inquiring.
Of course a person might question the validity of such things-Tarot cards, palm readings, psychic-healing, and all the rest has been around for a long long time. Most people would dismiss this all as some parlor trick, and submit to paying these seers for the pure entertainment value. This all goes without saying really.
However, an ex-girlfriend of mine was/is very much into Wicca. And I recall her card reading for me at age 17. To summarize those cards said that the coming period of my life was to be filled with loss and sorrow before a great transformation was to occur. To summarize again, that all came to pass, with the exception of a relationship with some redhead…. yeah nevermind that.
So I took Melanie’s reading rather seriously. As (my ex-gf) Kautreena instructed me in her reading, I shuffled the cards until I felt the slightest impulse to pull a certain card (a buzz, I stated to everyone’s laughter). Nothing was drawn at random.
And so it was all laid out. To summarize and paraphrase what Melanie detailed to me, all of my animals, unlike most other subjects that she has read to before, were very much inter-related to one another. None of the cards were upside down, whatever that means, so there were no real negatives, I suppose. The animals over and over again relayed ideas of I rebirth and transformation and seeking a means of living within myself.
Everything that she said was current down to my interpretations on how I see my co-workers at green hell perceive me. Current in how I react to other people. Current in how I know and feel that there is change to come, and it is my choosing how it will all proceed and result.
She was basically telling me that I am now in control of my own destiny. Everything that has happened to me in the past was a result of others (whether positive or negative) subconsciously manipulating my course.
In recollection, yes, it is all true, and I let it all happen. Quite honestly, I was so negative about everything that I thought I would never make it passed the age of thirty; And yet I’m still here. I moved back to the Bay Area to live with my father to start over-That is true. Yet until Melanie gave me that reading did I not actually feel like I was making much progress.
It has only been a week since that spirit animal reading, and events have unfolded that seem to justify everything my cousin and those cards had foreseen.
One thought on “renaissance”
“Current in how I know and feel that there is change to come, and it is my choosing how it will all proceed and result.” Good to hear this, it is so scary to realize how in control we are of our future, but I know you’ll grab those reins, you’re constantly working, persisting, and reflecting. Celebrate every little accomplishment you have, because they add up to whichever goal you set for yourself. ❤