So… weird event happened the other night. I suppose, I’ll attempt to retell it in a script format. (I loosely know this format)

FADE IN.

BEDROOM – EVENING

Ron Dador is watching and laughing at the cgi movie adaption of Beowulf. It’s at the point where Beowulf is fully nude and fighting an equally nude Grendel.

Knock at the door.

Enter Ron’s Father.

FATHER

Hey, Ronnie. Are you working tonight?

RON DADOR

(pauses Beowulf on computer)

Nope. Off tonight.

FATHER

Oh, okay. Hey can you watch the princess?

(the question usually infers that his wife and he are going out of town to a casino for a few hours,

and for Ron to care for the dog while they are gone.)

RON DADOR

(knowingly)

Ah. Going to the casino, eh? Sure I’ll watch Celly.

Don’t plan on going out.

FATHER

(smiles, turns to leave, halts)

Thanks, Ronnie.

We’ll see you later.

Wait-I was thinking-

Why don’t you save some money, and so next year

you can go to the Philippines.

RON DADOR

(puzzled)

Ehh. Why?

FATHER

You should go to the Philippines and find a wife–

RON DADOR

Ehh. What?

FATHER

You can find a wife there. A doctor, or a lawyer-One that can help you.

You’d be surprised how beautiful they are.

And plenty of them want to come work here.

RON DADOR

(shock)

Wait-What?

FATHER

Save some money. Say a thousand dollars. The ratio is about 40:1.

So a thousand dollars is forty-thousand pesos.

You can live pretty good there for a couple weeks or a month.

RON DADOR

(denial)

Whoa-I don’t even have a passport.

FATHER

That’s no problem, just go down to the post office and file for one.

They’re something like thirty-nine dollars.

I can help you with plane fair if you like.

Round trip is eight-hundred dollars or so.

RON DADOR

(deep denial-mumbles.)

Well I’m not really attracted to Asians. There’s plenty of them here and–

FATHER

Just think about it.

Next year.

I’ll help you.

RON DADOR

(uncomfortable)

Ehh. Yeah… I’ll think about it.

Father quickly notes the paused image on screen of a nude Beowulf and Grendal attacking each other. He looks puzzled.

Father exits.

RON DADOR

(Ron does a double take and facepalms)

What the fek just happened?

FADE OUT.

—

Yeah, that was a couple nights ago. I was going to write a blog post right then and there, but I decided to let it simmer in first.

Yes, I do live with my father and his wife, who I refer to as auntie. We are Filipino. There’s nothing wrong with that. Although it does direct some conflict with me personally.

My father is very traditional in the Filipino sense. He’s, I suppose second generation here in the states, having moved from the Islands to here in his teens. So perhaps he is in fact first generation. In any case, yes, traditional. I being birthed and raised here in the states, there is a slight culture clash.

For one-Filipinos tend to stick together-Different generations sharing one household. That is typical of many cultures, I’m sure. Doesn’t seem to be typical of the American standard of the coming of age at 18 years old (adult legal age), and leaving the home.

Well, I suck at life (so far). I rarely ever left home. I stayed with my mother and grandparents most of my life, in the end taking care of them-Taking care of each other. And now since my grandfathers passing, my mother having moved to the Philippines, I’ve decided to stay with my father and his wife-To start over-Get out of debt, and all that sneck. Figured the SF Bay would have more opportunity than the quiet hills of northern California. Well that definitely didn’t pan out.

Back on track-My father seems to think that I’ll never move away (well at the current rate that I’m getting paid, that seems feking realistic). As I’ve stated. I am not happy at all living here-I have a home (and I’m very grateful for that), but I feel more comfortable not being there. I continually feel like a guest even after over a year. They are nice people-Auntie and her family are in fact heavily devout Christian-Catholic. Tolerable and patient-That’s terrific! That’s how Christians are supposed to be. However, I just can’t seem to connect with them.

As with most people, I have nothing in common with them-Nor with most Filipinos (both domestic or immigrant, young and old) that I come in contact with here. This is South City, Daily City area-Asians everywhere-Very little tastes or interests in common with any of them. Of course it doesn’t help that I’m shy.

Truth told, I suspect and rationalize the real problem with my lack of communication skills is really with me and my stubbornness, shyness, and/or reluctance to open up. I grew up en garde-And I know my shyness has oft times come off as snobbish. Believe me, I have nothing to be proud of.

Well …now my father expects me to travel to the islands and seek out a mate.

Fek.

I’ll flatly state-I’m not really attracted to Asian women, let alone Filipinas. I’m around them all the fekin time as it is. Why should I have to travel to another country, another land to seek one out when they are right here. And excuse me for wanting something different.

If I am to reproduce, I’d prefer it to be with another ethnicity. I’m honestly not picky. Hell, I don’t even want children, but if it were to be so, yes, please with another ethnicity. I’d want the child to be of the world, not just from one part of it. I would also imagine that mixing ethnicity would produce a stronger child overall-Having varied traits from both strains-I could be wrong of course. Then there’s the social issue of race-Well my view there is that racism would be less progressive if we all just feked each other and produced a mixture of offspring.

There is also plenty of unwanted children in the world already. Why not adopt or foster?

Secondly, I’m not ready to even consider having children.

I have a sneck job with sneck pay. I owe my Auntie and father money for not only housing me and feeding me, but for helping me with my lawyer fees with my bankruptcy. I literally live paycheck to paycheck with how dismally I’m paid-I can’t even start a savings account. How in god(s) name can I even think about supporting a family, let alone traveling half-way around the world?

Also if I were to travel to the islands, ‘twould be to directly to visit my mother, not feking paternal conquest!

So.. yeah I don’t feking know what to think. This is such an odd issue for me.

I respect my father, but I definitely do not share his views, nor this plan he has for me.